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Something's wrong with me. I've been feeling very depressed and sometimes fatigued since 2011. I don't know why or how but once things over flow I begin to act in strange ways. I feel empty and my depression really spikes.
I don't like going to any doctor for no reason or out of paranoia. So I just tried to get some rest and practice meditation. It worked, but it keeps coming back and things begin to spiral. I know it has to be psychological. I don't feel sick or seriously ill. When I'm stressed I just...break... and it takes a whole day, sometimes weeks before I'm back to being somewhat normal again.
A lot happened that year, the biggest being Grandma's death. I was by her side at the hospital the day she passed. I don't know if I'm dealing with some kind of long lasting trauma or if it's just from my life being messy ever since. Or if I'm just dealing with depression.
When it flares up, sometimes I can become self aware of it. I lock my self away and try to meditate or just let it pass by. But this time it got the better of me and nearly ended my work. All of the stress and frustration from years of poor results in my life. And knowing just how far behind I am compared to my friends and family. My stress over the project and current events in the industry caused everything to over flow until I just broke for a while there.
I hate this cycle. It keeps coming back. I need to start thinking back, and figure out what's wrong with me.
I don't like going to any doctor for no reason or out of paranoia. So I just tried to get some rest and practice meditation. It worked, but it keeps coming back and things begin to spiral. I know it has to be psychological. I don't feel sick or seriously ill. When I'm stressed I just...break... and it takes a whole day, sometimes weeks before I'm back to being somewhat normal again.
A lot happened that year, the biggest being Grandma's death. I was by her side at the hospital the day she passed. I don't know if I'm dealing with some kind of long lasting trauma or if it's just from my life being messy ever since. Or if I'm just dealing with depression.
When it flares up, sometimes I can become self aware of it. I lock my self away and try to meditate or just let it pass by. But this time it got the better of me and nearly ended my work. All of the stress and frustration from years of poor results in my life. And knowing just how far behind I am compared to my friends and family. My stress over the project and current events in the industry caused everything to over flow until I just broke for a while there.
I hate this cycle. It keeps coming back. I need to start thinking back, and figure out what's wrong with me.
Alterria Readers Tier
Early access to the Alterria webcomic and related projects. Access to project files.
$2/month
Plans for the Future
So out of curiosity. I decided to sit down and math out how long it would take to tell the story of Alterria the way I wanted to. Not counting "Advent Moon" and "Prelude of the Phantasm", there are 6 story arcs planned. Each intended to be 12 chapters long. A Chapter is 20 pages long. Currently I'm releasing 2 pages per week. there are 52 weeks in a year so at most. That's 104 pages a year assuming I never missed 2 per week. That's 5 Chapters and 4 pages a year. Alterria counting "Prelude of the Phantasm" and Advent Moon. Would take 74 Chapters + the 30 pages of Advent Moon to complete. That's 1510 page! It would take me 15 years to complete this story. I'd be 50 by the Time I finished! But if I went and slashed those arcs down to 6 Chapters each. It would take me only 8 years to complete it. I've got a lot of thinking to do about how to handle this because I still want to make games. And have been working on conceptualize a new smaller project. My advice to anyone reading
Status Update Page 9
Page 9 for Subscribers will be pushed to early/mid Monday. Mainly because things are still a bit uneven for me. And I don't want to rush a page again. Nothing good really comes from that. Tuesday/Thursday public updates however are finally back to normal. So those will be on time. Also, because I redid that page and Page 10 entirely. To reduce the number of Panels. Because OG Page 9 was... really cluttered. And Page 10 had redundant panels that I was able to cut.
Status Update for Alterria
CH1 Page 8 is going to be a day late for subs. But the Tuesday Upload will still be on time. I might do a 1 week break around Page 20 to build the backlog of pages for Chapter 2 up. A bit early to say this but I don't think I'll be able to get extra pages done over the next few months. Maybe that'll change but for now, I'm not sure if I'll able to. So better to play it safe and just plan ahead for the break.
So about the Subs and Patreon...
After 15 years, there's a lot of things I'm still figuring out in the art/webcomic world. I never knew it's actually pretty disrespectful to have patreon/subs so early in a comics run. In my case 33 pages into Alterria. I also began to realize that Alterria having different titles for it's different story arcs. might be causing confusion. I hoped the pages being linked together would help but I get the feeling most people don't read descriptions. Between that and Alterria Adven Moon's horrifically bad start. I don't know how to fix the current mess. I'm gonna have to ask around to try and get advice on what to do next. In the meantime. I'm going to stop advertising my patreon and subs. I think prints might be ok, but I'm really worried that might be an issue too. I need to figure out a new approach to fix my financial issues. It's been hell trying to find work anywhere that doesn't require a car, or relocation. And I'm running out of time.
© 2017 - 2024 Kyanbu
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I'm sorry to hear this. I think I know how you feel. I been and seen someone in your situation. I will have to note you to explain.